herewesayf&@#k!!!

Disruptive Mood Mutherfucking Dysregulation Disorder

Disruptive Mood Diysregulation Disorder (DMDD) is not a well-known disorder , and that is due to being a mental health condition that is exclusive to children and adolescents. While this is not an adult disorder , when left untreated in children, they are at a high risk of developing depression and /or anxiety disorders in adulthood.

So what is DMDD?

To put it simply, it is a mood disorder where children and teens experience ongoing irritability, frequent or intense outbursts of temper. Youth that have been diagnosed with the disorder experience significant problems at home , school, and often with peers. These problems can increase their chances of hospitilazation and other mental health services.

Some of the signs and symptoms of this disorder include severe temper outbursts , either verbally or behavioral, that occur at least 3 times per week. These outbursts or tantrums have been happening regularly for at least 12 months. Being chronically irritable or angry most of the day for nearly every day and trouble functioning due to irritability in more than one place. Such as at home, school, or with peers . Children are typically diagnosed between 6-10 years old, but as they grow, their symptoms may change. For example, as they grow, they experience fewer tantrums , but they may develop new symptoms of anxiety or depression.

Perhaps one of the biggest struggles in deciding when or if to seek help is seen in the difficulty distinguishing if the irritibility is typical or severe. Children, like every other human that exists , can be irritable. Sometimes that irritability is understandable or justified and sometimes it is completely extreme or an overreaction…and this is still fucking normal. So the biggest factor is frequency, because they aren’t simply overwhelmed or hormonal, they can’t handle frustration. This difficulty in being able to tolerate the physical and emotional aspects of frustration leads to outbursts that are out of proportion frequently and consistently.

While a medical doctor, OT, and other professionals that work with children, such as teachers and counselors, can recognize the symptoms of DMDD, it is still a new disorder. resulting in a lack of specific or definitive treatments, and most are based on treatments that have proven effective with other childhood disorders such as ADHA , ODD, and other anxiety disorders. This generally includes types of psychotherapy and medications , with psychotherapy considered first. The most effective of these, so far, have been CBT, Parenting Classes, and medications such as antidepressants and stimulants,

The best tips to help parents and family to help support children affected by this disorder can be described as a common sense approach. First learn as much as you can about the disorder, talk to your childrens teacher, counselor or school social worker or psychologist, find ways to manage your stress and self care the fuck out of yourself , seek additional support and professional help, be honest and direct in communication with your chids health care providers and most importantly be kind to yourself. Accept and understand there will be bad days,good days, mistakes, and breakthroughs, and none of them devalue you as a parent. You are still a good parent when you fuck up.

…till next week

The Fucking Depression Umbrella

Depression is like coffee. It’s a common drink that comes in multiple flavors, styles, and sizes. Not to trivialize depression, but it really is a wide umbrella that anyone can find themselves under. Often referred to as the common cold of mental health, there is much evidence to understand the comparison.

There is major depresive disorder, which is characerized by it’s persistant low mood, loss of interests, and its duration for being over two weeks. Persistent depressive disorder is a depression lasting for at least two years. Bipolar disorder, a mood disorder characterized by depressive states and mania. Peremenstrual Dysphoric is a severe form of premenstrual syndrome that causes significant mood swings and other symptoms in the weeks leading up to menstration. Post-partum depression is a depression that develops after giving birth, and seasonal affective disorder is a type of depression that occurs during certain times of the year. Perinatal depression occurs during pregnancy or after childbirth. Perimenopausal depression is one that affects women transitioning into menopause. Dysthymic disorder, Cyclothymic disorder, melancholia, depression with psychosis symptoms, depression due to a medical condition, depression with mixed features, and adjustment disorder with depressed mood are some other types of depression.

It’s important to remember that these are still just a few examples of types of depression and depression has many causes, treatments, and symptoms.

Some common causes of depression can include a family history, personality features , stressful or traumatic life events,lonliness, illness, alcohol and drug use and hormonal imbalances.

Symptoms of depression can range in intensity and durtion and can look different from person to person as well as across gender lines and age groups. They include, but aren’t limited to ; feelings of sadness, emptiness, tearfulness or hopelessness, angry, outbursts, irritability, frustration, loss of interest or pleasure in activities , hobbies, and other intrests, various issues with sexual interactions, sleep disturbances, lack of energy, tiredness, reduced appetite, weight loss, weight gain, increased food cravings, binge eating , starvation, disordered eating, anxiety, restlessness, aggitation, slowed thinking /speaking or body movements, feelings of worthlessness, guilt or being a burden, fixations on past failures , self-blame , trouble thinking, concentrating makig decisions or rembering things, frequent or recurant thoughts of death, suicide, suicidal ideations, death fanatsies, suicide attempts, unexplained physical problems such as stomach issues, headaches, backaches, muscle aches.

Depression is an insidious disease that can spread quickly or slowly and it can be fatal. Treatment can look different for everyone and there is no 1 size fits all approach to help someone manage their symptoms. But if symptoms are lasting any longer than 2 weeks, you should seek treatment. This could be from a Dr, mental health professional, a suicide hotline, friend , family, spirtual leader or any trusted person. For yourself or someone you care about.

In the US call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

US Veterans or srvice members in crisis can call 988 and then press “1” for the veterans crisis line or text 838255

The Spanish language lifeline is toll free at 1-888-628-9454

……until next week

Bipolar

Like so many other mental health disorders , bipolar is one that is often mentioned online. It is also followed by extremely inaccurate , misleading, or just wrong statements. The reality of the bullshit that is social media is that people are looking for likes and followers in the hopes of generating money, fame, or, in some cases, more sinister motives. The spread of misinformation and disinformation is a common occurrence, and while I have like 4 followers who sometimes read my posts, I feel that I can at least help my juju knowing I put out something factual.

Bipolar disorder is a serious mental illness that is lifelong. It is a fairly common diagnosis and can be genetic. There are different types of bipolor disorder ; Bipolar 1, Biopolar II, and cyclothymic disorder. Bipolar disorder causes dramatic shifts in someone’s mood, energy, and ability to think clearly. The average age of onset is around 25 , but it can occur in adolescence and sometimes in childhood.

Symptoms and their severity can vary , and a person can experience a distinnct manic or depressed state, but they can also experience an extended period of time without any symptoms. They can also experience both extremes simultaneously or in rapid succession. Severe episodes can include symptoms such as halucinations or deusions, and when this happens, people can be misdiagnosed with schizphrenia.

To be diagnosed, one must experience at least one episode of mania or hypomania (a milder form of mania that doesn’t include psychotic episodes). Moods can rapidly switch and become more unpredictable where behaviors are problematic and judgments are impaired. Marked by impulsivity, recklessness, and unusual risks. People are also unaware of the negative consequences of their action while in a manic state. Learning from prior episodes and what kinds of behavior signal red flags of manic behavior can be a valuable tool to manage the disorder.

Depression marks another significant symptom of the disorder. The depresive state of the disorder is so debiliting that people can’t get out of bed and can include chages in sleep, appetite, overwhelming feelings of loss, failure ,guilt, or hopelessness. These intense low’s can increase the risk of suicide attempts, with roughly 60% of people with bipolaattemptingng suicide and 19% successfully completing suicide.

The most significant difference between Bipolar I and Bipolar II is the severity and duration of manic episodes. Bipolar I involves more severe manic episodes that can last days or even weeks and bipolar II having lesseverere hypomanic episodes that last or a shorter duration.

Lastly, while mood swings that shift through manic episodes and depresive episodes are the most common symptoms other symptoms include delusions, lack of concentration,slowness in activities, delusions of grandure or false belief in superiority, paranoia , changes in sleep, weight fluctuations, fatigue or restlessness, and rapid or freenzied speech.

It’s also important to remember that teatments consist of medication ,therapy, and suporive care. While there may be fluctuations and changes to what and how these treatments are managed, treatment is lifelong, and going off medication is a common and dangerous scenario.

…until next week

What in The Actual Fuck is Happening Right Now

If you are experiencing anything like I am this past month has been a roller coaster of fear, panic, anxiety and then more fear. Being angry , terrified and indignant as you realize this is really happening in this country and nobody is coming to save us or trying to stop it.

What’s even more terrifying is the number of people who are happy with what is happening or don’t care because they either don’t understand what is happening or don’t think it will affect them. MInority groups, women , immigrants, LGBTQ members, and particularly the Trans commuinity are facing aggressive threats to their very right to exist.

There’s so much misinormation and disinformation flooding the airwaves and so much blatant criminailty is happening that the media can’t keep up , and some media outlets aren’t trying to keep up at all.

There is a deliberate and methodical plan being set in motion from project 2025 to destroy the media, economy, social norms, before moving on to the courts, military and who knows what next.

Nobody knows what will happen next, if they will be successful or stopped, will democary crumble and Musk be victorious in his coup …or will they be stopped and the damage and onslaught be tended to? How many people will fight the good fight and for how long ? Will you report or fight for your neighbor ? Or will you flee to a more welcoming country? I don’t know, none of us do, but don’t give up. Remember there are others ready to fight the good fight, don’t let them keep you in such a constant state of fear or panic that you do nothing, don’t punch down or sideways but try to see the humanity in everyone and unite when you can however you can. I Don be welcoming or loving to the nazi, the white suppremist or the hate monger. I am saying treat everyone as your allies until you know they aren’t. Because community is one of the few things that will see us through this. Build your community, with love and respect, build your alliship, help when you can and accept help. They want to divide us, because they know we hold the power of our dollar, our work and our voice. It’s why they have engaged in this mission of fear mongering, hate mongering , and misinformation for so long. They need us to fight each other so we don’t fight them.

We can do it, we can come out the other side better, stronger, wiser and kinder than when we started. We can see each other as people again and overcome this. Overcome this ongoing threat, this danger, this evil cancer…we can win.

…until next week

Autsim Spectrum Disorder

To start this weeks topic off correctly lets first make it clear that in no way shape or form does any aspect or diagnosis under the umbrella of autism spectrum disorder leave the indiviual unaware of knowing, understanding or controlling their ability to to do a fucking nazi salute. There is also no recognized form of stimming that includes doing or being unable to prevent yourself from doing a nazi fucking salute.

Autism Spectrum Disorder is a name many are familiar with but most are very unknowedgable about. It is confussing due to the different types, changes in diagnosis and social stigma that has often shamed it or confussed it woth other diagnosis.

In the most recent publicsation of the DSM 5 they removed the diagnosis of Aspbergers syndrome, a decision that has enraged some and been celebrated by others. Despite these opinions and feelings on the subject I’m not including it any further in the discussion. I will add before moving on that as it has not been a recognized diagnosis for quite some time (2013) when it was recongnized it was considered the most mild form of austism and did not result in people lacking an ability to control themselves from doing a mutherfucking nazi salute.

Under the new umbrella of Autism Spectrum Disorder there are autism, Kanner’s, Rett Syndrome , childhood disintegrative disorder and pervasive developmental disorder-not otherwise specified. The most significant differential between these disorders include onset, severity and the level care needed.

Like ADHD the symptoms of Autism are broken into categories or domains. Behavioral symptoms include; inappropriate social interactions, poor eye contact, compulsive behavior , impulsivity, repetitive movement, self-harm , persistent repetition of words or actions. Developmental symptoms include learning disabilities or speech delays. Cognitive symptoms include intense interest in a limited number of things, problem staying focused or paying attention to subjects outside of these interests , and being unaware of other’s emotions. other common symptoms may be anxiety, sound sensitivities, sensory issues and physical tics. The range and severity of symptoms can vary widely, but the most common include difficulty with social cues, difficulties communicating , obsesive interests and repetive behaviors.

Treatments for Autsim can vary just as widely based on the severity and age. They include holistic approcahes, medications and various therapies that include speech, occupational therapy, family, individual therapies such as anger management and DBT

ADHFuckingD

ADHD is the catchall term that we have all become accustomed to hearing. YOu have a generation of boomers still insisting that ADHD didn’t exist when they were young , Gen X staring into space mutherfuckerly when they are shocked to learn that the behaviors the considered “normal” because they did them were in fact symptoms of ADHD, millennials approach it with understanding and empathy and see it as a disorder rather than a character flaw and Gen Z viewing the disorder as common as air in their openess to share their own experiences and hopes to normalize the expience.

ADHD is often confused with or lumped in with Autism, and this is mainly due to the fact that they are both neurodevelopmental disorders. They also can overlap with symptoms such as challenges with focus, sensory sensitivities and emotional regulation. It is not uncommon for someone to have a co-morbidity and be diagnosed with both disorders.

The most significant differences are found in the domains of social interactions, repetitive behaviors and attention issues. Autism is primarily characterized by difficulties in social communication and interactions as well as demonstrations of repetitive behaviors and restricted interests. ADHD is characterized by challenges with attention, hyperactivity and impulsivity.

With social interactions autism primarily affects social communication and interactions, making it difficult to understand social cues and engage in recipocal conversations. With ADHD the impact to social interactions are connected to inattention and impulsivity. Repetive behaviors are seen with autisnm and not seen with ADHD to the same degree. And while both disorders involve attention issues those connected to ADHD include hyperactivity and impulsivity where Autism is accompanied by social interactions and sensory issues.

Other symptoms of ADHD include Behavioral symptoms such as ; aggression, excitability, fidgiting, hyperactivity, impulsivity, irritability , lack of restraint, persistent or repetive words or actions. Cognitive symptoms such as absent mindedness , difficulty focusing, forgetfulness, problems paying attention, and short attention span. Mood symptoms include anger, anxiety, boredom , excitement or mood swings. Other common factors include learning diabilities and depression .

The criteria to recieve a diagnosis include at least 1 symptom from each domain being present for a minimum of 6 months. The number and severity of the presenting symptoms define the diagnosis , symptoms cause problems at home, school/work, relationships, symptoms are not caused by another disorder, symptoms are not caused by defiance or lack of understaning.

Treatment can look very different based ion the person the type (Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity, Inattentive or combined) , and the severity of symptoms. Medications, therapy, physical activities and holistic approaches can all be affective in managing symptoms for the individual

Mutherfucking Anxiety Disorders

I shouldn’t assume that everyone knows about anxiety disorders, but i feel confident that everyone has heard about them. Unfortunately, social media and the burning desire to be able to monotize your face means there’s a whole lot of idiots spreading misinformation as they pretend to be therapists, or some other mental health expert, in their quest for likes.

To spare you the personal rage I experience when putting the slightest bit of thought on the absolute dumb fuckery that thrives online and just explain some basics about anxiety disorders. Anxiety disorders are among the most common disorders to be diagnosed and even those without an anxiety disorder can still experience anxiety at any time and can struggle to manage aspects of their anxiety.

In the United States , 19 % , or around 40 million people have an anxiety disorder. These disorders are characterized by excessive fear and worry that directly impact an individuals thoughts and behaviors. The major distinction between typical, or normal anxiety , and a disorder is when these thought and behaviors become severe enough to cause significant distress and impairment on the domains of a persons life. These domians include work/school, home, relationships, physical and emotional self. When the impact on these domains is enough to disturb daily functioning a persons anxiety becomes a disorder.

The DSM-5, has 11 recognized anxiety disorders. They include Generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, seperation anxiety disorder, agoraphobia, specific phobia, selective mutism, other specified anxiety disorder, substance/medication induced anxiety disorder, and post- traumatic stress disorder.

For a brief as fuck overview, Generalized anxiety disorder involves persistent and excessive wory that interferes with daily activities. This worry can be about a number of different things and present in a variety of ways. it is one of the most common types of anxiety.

Panic disorder is when an individual has recurring episodes of panic with the fear that present as recurrent panic attacks , the result is significant changes in behavior as they try to avoid more attacks. Symptoms can be severe and present in an abrupt surge of intense fear with physical symptoms that include, but are not limited to dizziness, difficulty breathing, sweating, nausea and shooting pains.

Social anxiety disorder is a marked and persistent fear of social situations where the individual feels exposed to unfamiliar people/situations, or scrutiny towards themselves or their performance. Seperation anxiety disorder can impact children and adults. SOmeone is diagnosed when they report high levels of distress when seperated from another person that view as being crucial in their ability to handle themselves and situations.

Agoraphobia is the fear of being in situations where escape may be difficult or embarrassing , or help may not be available in the event of any number of emergencies and scenarios. Specific phobias is an excessive and persistent fear of a specific object, situation or activity that is usually not harmful but has caused a deep fear in the individual. Phobias are very common and the signifying difference between common phobias and a disorder is when an individual will go to great lengths to avoid the possibility of encountering their “phobia” to the point where it is interferrin with and impeding on their day to day life.

Selective Mutism is most common in children , starting at age 5, and is exhibited when the child experiences an inability to speak in certain social settings. It is the least common anxiety disorder and affects less than 1 percent of the population. Obsessive-compulsive disorder is a disorder where a person begins ritualistic behaviors as a way to manage their recurring obsessive thoughts. Post-Traumatic stress disorder is an anxiety disorder that results from exposure to trauma. This , as well as substance use/medication induced anxiety disorders are when anxiety symptoms are triggered by outside forces. Such as drug/alcohol abuse or repeated exposure to trauma.

Lastly ,Other specified anxiety disorder is a category in the DSM-5 that applies to people that have symptoms characteristics of an anxiety disorder but do not meet enough specifiers to meet the full criteria of any disorder. This diagnosis can be used to further evaluate and consider other diagnosis and their specifiers.

If you or someone you know is having difficulty managing their anxiety, I hope this brief review is somewhat helpful in helping them understand what’s going and as well as give them the support to seeking professional help. This help will provide them with education about their disorder as well as teach about coping skills to help manage them. It will also provide them with the medications that may be necessary to help them with their symptoms and manage their life.

The Mutherfucking Hunt Begins

I wish I didn’t have to do this. I wish it could have been like it’s depicted in the movies. Where you do such a great job that a job is offered to you before you have time to consider what to do next. Before any plan has been formulated, you already have people intervening to make the process even easier. But , like everything else..this isn’t a movie and it doesn’t pretend to be.

That’s not entirely true, because I was offered a job at my clinical before I left. I loved the clients, the work, the coworkers, the office vibe and the commute. What I didn’t love was the agency policy to hire everyone as perdiem, require a certain number of hours but use the loophole of only paying you for your time in session. This meant that I wouldn’t get paid a single minute for the mounds of paper work I was required to do. Nor would I get paid for any no shows or cancellations. And considering there were days where I would sit there for 7 out of 8 hours in a day because all but I client cancel, I just couldn’t accept. No matter how much I loved about this place , this population, and this work …I simply did not go to school and do this much work to accept a job that could require me to sit in office for an 8 hour day and not have to pay me for a moment of time.

Despite my disappointment at the reality of the situation, I have gotten over it and have accepted that I need to move forward and find another agency and position that will hopefully fit as well. Or at the very least come close to it. Which I have done, but the end result leaves me less than excited as I begin the process of finding a job.

I’ve definelty had the time to prepare for his shit, that’s for sure. I can’t apply to sit the state exam to get my liscense or apply for jobs until my graduation is official. otherwise known as the “conferral date”, which is a whole month after graduation. The arrival of this amazing day means that I can fill out the application to sit the exam with the state. Once that i done I get to literally sit and wait for the application to be processed and be provided the exam dates and locations. I have no idea when this will happen or how fucking long it will take, but I’ve been told to expect a 3 monthish wait. So, fun.

While I wait I can begin to send out my resume and apply for work, but nobody has told me, prepped me or even attemtped to discuss how the fuck that will even go. Technically I don’t know if I should wait until after the exam, but I decided that since permits exist it must be ok to start applying once the conferral date passes.

For those unaware of the process, permits allow you to practice without your liscence. You work under your supervisors liscence, much like your internship, and are only good for a year while you wait for your exam. The very existence of this option should make it obvious if you start looking for work before you sit the exam. But, my obnoxious as fuk brain makes it more complicated. Where one side tells me you have to start looking before because you need a supervisor to get a permit, which makes it obvious that you need to be hired beforehand. It is then that the other side of my brain point out that most people secure a position where they do their clinicals before graduation, and it is this scenario that permits exist for. Since i rejected this option than I should clearly wait until after my exam to send out those resumes.

Anyway, heres hoping that the process becomes less overwhelming and stressful as I muddle my way through it.

…..until next week.

It’s Fucking Time

The time has fucking come and to be completely honest I’m not happy about it in the slightest. I’ve been in school for what feels like forever, or at the very least the past 20 fucking years. And I’ve finally reached the fucking finish line. I’ve had my breathe to sit back and enjoy, to do nothing and relax as I soak in my accomplishment.

Yet, despite my absolute desire to stay in this moment , we all know that I can’t. I have to make a plan, prepare for the next step and then take it.

It’s about now when you may wonder what the problem is, or more specifically my problem. The answer is painfully disappointing, lowkey boring as fuck and completely unimaginative. The problem is I’m scared and full of self doubt.

Despite the education, despite the training, and the hours in the field doing clinical work I feel like a complete imposter. I’m clearly unqualified to do any of the jobs popping up in my linked in and local indeed searches and never will be eligible to fill such positions. But, I still need a job, to pay for my student loans at the very least.

I can envision exactly what I want to do ; I loved working with children , teens and families. i loved play tehrapy, art therapy, family therapy and indiviudal session work. I felt incredibly effective helping my clients work through trauma, sexual assualts , self harm and suicidality. I found the work satisfy, my clinical instincts good and my impact on my cliets positive. My supervisors agreed with me and offered me a position. But, the policy and postions of the agency were not acceptable and I had to refuse.

Now I find myself looking for work in jobs I’m convinced I can’t do , as I beleieve that finidng the demographic and roles i enjoyed the most and was most effective at are the only thing I’m qualified for.

But I have a few months to reflect, look and build confidence while I prepare for the state exam to become liscenced. Hopefully in that time I’ll find a job I want, with the population I enjoy, that pays enough and doesn’t leave me questioning my abilities or intellect.

……until next week.

Saying Goodbye

In the field they call it termination, or a healthy goodbye. Me, I called it a mix of excitement and sadness.

I was more than ready to be done, I was burnt out, tired, and had just accepted that I would not apply to work at my placement once it was over. This sucked, it really sucked, because I wanted to stay with every fiber if my being. I loved my clients, loved the work, my coworkers was awesome and I loved the culture and vibe of my office.

It wasn’t because the pay was low, I would have accepted that. It was because the benefits were non existent, the policies were ridiculous and the politics and management of the agency took that low pay and cut it in half while having the audacity to act like what they were asking was reasonable.

Simply I didn’t go back to school and work this hard to accept below minimum wage for the privilege to work anywhere…that was the easiest decision I had ever made. The hard decision was leaving my clients.

I had a blend of clients …the youngest was 4 and the oldest 25. I did individual therapy, co-facilitated a group and family therapy. I worked with kids with ODD, ADHD, Autism, Bipolar disorder, depression, Anxiety Disorders , grief counseling, and substance use. I worked with kids with homicidal ideation and suicidal ideation. Some clients were high risk with suicidality, self-harm ,eating disorders or homicidality with trauma. I had clients who survived sexaul assaults and abuse and other types of trauma.

I had some clients that exhausted me in every aspect and I was happy to hand over their case. I had others that I never wanted to leave, because I needed to see it through and didn’t trust the next person to it. They had come so far and I wanted to see them win…or they weren’t ready to have to start all over and trust someone else.

I said goodbye to them all and some were happy to see me go, some couldn’t care less and others cried just as bad as I wanted to. In the end we all had a good ending, the ones who cried the hardest saw it thru to the end and expressed thanks and gratitude for the work we did and what they accomplished.

Me I highlighted the progress they made, the strengths they had and reminded them how to use those strengths as their best tool to manage whatever comes up. Then I went into my office and kept every photo, memento and keepsake that they had given me.

….until next week