Personal disclaimer, I grew up poor, not poor we don’t take more than 1 vacation, but bo vacation. Not only did we not take vacations, but we ate our cereal with a fork and shared bath water poor.
Despite this my Mom owned Christmas. She managed to to create the illusion of all our wishes coming true that she shoulda worked with fucking Copperfield, Blane or Angle. She managed to turn $ store crap into something cute and thrift a treasure outta thin air.
It was years, and I mean in my 30’s years before I realized how little we had and littler that I got for the holidays. But despite this I was privileged, I was loved, celebrated and there were many years thrown in where my Christmas was Grand.
My adult years, motherhood, wifedom and all the other frills of being the head bitch in charge for the holidays have seen me taking my mothers crown and surpassing her. She would love the Christmases I pull off. The decorations, the cutting of our tree, the cards (I’m 1 of 8 remaining humans that send a card), the baking, the movies, carols and traditions are all things my Mom would enjoy. I’m a miracle worker that makes Christmas magic every mutherfucking year and grant every want of my family and sprinkle some extra generosity to everyone I can.
This polar express of dreams starts the day before Thanksgiving when I prep and cook for the next day. After all the dishes are done, family’s left ,house is cleaned and shower has been had…without fail I sit and enjoy a Christmas movie and turkey sandwich while I finish my holiday shopping. The weekend is filled with cutting down the tree, decorating the house, filling out cards, Christmas movies and Holiday Baking. Every weekend from then till Christmas is spent doing something for the holidays with someone. Until the Christmas Eve dinner and the party for family that I host between Christmas and New Years.
But the thing is, as I switch into Holiday gear after fattening my ass up since Thursday, this work has taught me how important it is to do 3 things during the holidays
1 ) It’s critical to hold tight to your family, your traditions and the experiences that bring you joy. While everyone should do that with everything they can , in the field it’s critical to allow the supports in your life to support you. The vicarious trauma experienced in clinical work is enough to burn anyone out.
2 ) It’s important to prioritize the aspects that bring you joy, but to recognize your limitations and not attempt, try or hope for perfection. You certainly don’t need to add another stressor or unrealistic expectation to your fucking load.
3 ) As much as you may love your family, friends, traditions or experiences…no matter what they are..if the work teaches us anything always remember your experience is not THE experience. Don’t assume or take for granted you know a single godddam thing about anyone’s reality and no matter how similar it may be you don’t know what it feels like to be someone else or how their experience feels.
With that I hope no matter where, how, or what you celebrate or skip ..you are happy, supported and loved.
…till next week
herewesayf&@#k!!! 