Grief is the loss of anything precious to us, this can include our home, health, or relationships. There are different types of grief that include anticipatory grief, complicated grief ,Disenfranchised grief and ambitious loss.
Everyone seems to know Kubler-Ross’s Theories of Grief stage models that include denial, anger,bargaining, depression and acceptance. But there are also the 6 R’s, the 4 tasks of mourning and the duel process model.
The six R’s include recognizing the loss, react to separation, recollect or re-experience the deceased or the relationship, relinquish old attachments to the dead, readjust to move adaptively into a new world and to reinvest.
The four tasks of mourning include accepting the reality of loss,working through the pain of grief,adjusting to life without the deceased and maintaining a connection with the dead while moving on.
Lastly the dual process model is made up of two parts ; loss orientation and restoration orientation. Loss orientation includes grief work, intrusion of grief ,denial of restoration and related challenges. Restoration orientation includes doing a new thing, distraction from grief and new roles or relationships. If either of these aspects are not met problematic grief can result.
Problematic or complicated grief occur when normal grief (grief but can manage/sustain life involvement ) is no longer managed and these feelings opossum remain significant and persistent.
Factors affecting adjustment to loss include the nature of the relationship (dependent, ambivalent,conflictual ,abusive) or the nature of death (violent,suddent,prolonged suffering)
Risk factors for complicated grief include it being either a spouse or parent (usually the Mother), the type of attachment and individual has (anxious/avoident/insecure), low social support, if you found, saw or had to identify the body, abusive relationship with the dead, history of abuse or neglect and if the death was violent. The greater number of risk factors the higher the chance of complicated grief.
Despite all of these different facts about grief there are some universally important facts to remember. They include, there is no wrong way to grieve, if you feel it then it is a normal fucking feeling, and everything you need and however much time you need are the right feelings and amount of time, and people will say some of the dumbest, insensitive and just wrong shit to you…don’t let them invalidate or infringe or your grief.
…..until next week
herewesayf&@#k!!! 