When they fucking leave

  I know some people will talk about the business of mental health and this concept that you are never really “cured” so you’ll always need therapy on some level….keeping us all in business indefinitely.

I can see why the talk exists, but the truth is always a bit more complicated. The truth is two-fold, therapy is only as effective as the client allows it to be. If they don’t want to do the work, then the work won’t be done. If they don’t want to make the changes then the changes will never happen.

Another truth is that therapy may never really start or ever really end….fucking confused yet?

  People come in and out of therapy over the course of their lives. Sometimes they’re earnest in the effort and put in the work, sometimes it’s a deep cleaning and sometimes a spring tune up. Sometimes they are dealing with a situation and sometimes they are working in themselves. And sometimes, sometimes they just aren’t feeling it and they leave .

  You may have a detailed treatment plan, they may have outlined their goals ,expectations and what needs to happen for them to consider treatment a success. Despite any if this they decide to quit. You know this, you expect it…what you don’t expect is how viscerally you react to it.

I’m struggling with my own anger at my clients bailing…and it’s for lots of reasons. None of which include losing their money.

Maybe they were starting to get into it….and that can be uncomfortable at best and painful at worst. Maybe they were close to their first big breakthrough and you knew they deserved that change in perspective. Maybe someone close to them convinced them they didn’t need it anymore and you would have wished they weren’t influenced in their opinion. Maybe they were getting annoyed by some part of the process and they weren’t willing to keep going through the trial and error process.

But nothing is as shitty as when they give the fuck up. Not even on therapy, but themselves. They’ve lost hope that it’s worth it, that it will help or that they deserve happiness …or whatever they were hoping to achieve when they started.

  I just wish someone had prepared me for my anger and my opinions when I have to sit back and watch my clients give up on themselves

…..until next week .