So last week I discussed the 1st experience that helped create my worst day in field….allow me to illuminate you with what clinched the shit day title.
My family of demons had left my office and I had just finished cleaning up the path of destruction left in their wake when I heard the arrival of my next client.
This client is 13 years old who lives with Grandma after running away from her father’s house. Client, AKA ,Mrs. Clause survived neglect, physical and sexual abuse and a sexual assault. Grandma has taken her in after discovering the issues at home. The biggest issue in the house is the adjustment and communication while Mrs. Clause addresses her trauma and is treated for her other diagnosis. Which include suicidality, with multiple attempts , major depressive disorder and PTSD.
Grandma and Mrs. Clause have the same fight. Grandma gets angry at the lack of respect she is given and Ms. Ho Ho Ho gets angry that she has rules.
I let them into the office and they are fighting, because Grandma won’t let her spend the weekend with her boyfriend. I try to de-escalate the situation and bring them back into the office. Grandma says she wants to make next weeks appointment and let us speak, but they continue to go back and forth.
I intervene and make both of them sit down and do a quick breathing exercise to relax and refocus. Then I use empathy, active listening and reflection to try to facilitate their argument in the hopes they can address what the issue is and stop yelling at each other.
After grandma stated she just wanted to be treated with respect Mrs. Clause mumbled under her breathe an insult that I didn’t catch, but made grandma leave the room. I asked her what respect looked like for her and when she couldn’t answer I pointed out it may be difficult for her to describe because she’s never felt respected before.
I’d like to point out that this is a client I’ve had great rapport with since day 1. She opened up to me easily , shares her concerns and has said it’s nice to have an adult I can trust…despite this established theraputic alliance it was obvious I hit a nerve and obvious she wasn’t in the right mood to have that nerve hit.
Her response was to sneer at me at tell me that she has been lying this whole time and she actually hates me. She hates therapy, doesn’t need it ,won’t be coming back and can’t believe I was dumb enough to believe she trusted me because all I was , was just a fat bitch.
I wish I could say I had some great zinger or line in response to this, but alas I did not. I laughed. It started as a chuckle and grew to a giggle and I looked at her and said , that’s the best you can do? She looked at me confused and I said…well I am fat and am indeed a bitch…so, ya got me there.
I almost feel bad at her lost look, as she wondered if perhaps her therapist was becoming unhinged. But I finished my giggling and asked her if she wanted to discuss what respect felt like or insult me more..she choose neither and stopped speaking & picked at the wall until I yelled at her to stop when she tried to pull out the outlet.
Oh well….until next week
herewesayf&@#k!!! 