The moment all clinicians know will happen before they set foot in the field is waited on with baited breathe. It doesn’t matter what type of therapist you are counselor, clinician , or psychiatrist, is all irrelevant. The moment will come when your door opens and you are slapped in the face with familiarity.
They could remind you of a long lost friend, old flame, family member or an old vilian. It doesn’t really matter who they remind you of, the point is they do and it can significantly impact how you treat them.
The truth is every clinician will encounter a client, multiple clients, who remind them of someone they knew or know. That connection can be in a positive or a negative way, but is almost always discussed in it’s negative context. But, it’s the positive dynamic that should be mentioned more. So today I want to discuss my incredibly positive instance of transferece.
Transferece & counter transference mean the same thing, projecting your feelings of someone else onto a person. Transference happens when it is a client’s feelings & counter transference is when it’s the therapists feelings. Both are natural and will happen often. It’s self-awareness of the therapist that’s needed to make sure it stays a positive or natural aspect.
The therapist would keep and maintain established and professional boundaries to reinforce that they are the client and clinician. But the feelings generated can be used to foster empathy and see people as humans outside of their role.
The other day I met with a new client for the first time. She had already had all of her assessments, intake and a starting diagnosis and all I had to do was meet for the individual psychotherapy. While I prepared myself to begin to establish a theraputic alliance by establishing rapport ,empathy and trust, I was unprepared to be greeted by my 15 year old self in the waiting room.
While circumstances and situations were different this client had my exact attitude, perspective, personality traits and priorities of my former self. The only difference was the technology, wardrobe and slang of a generation. And with my of my teenage fads making a comeback she didn’t even look drastically different than my teenage self.
The benefit of this connection was that the process of connecting with the client, establishing rapport, making them feel seen, understood and validated was sped up. Because when someone came relate to or understand where your coming from, when they get what your saying Because of any shared connection…it shows.
You can’t fake guinuine or authenticity and when it is felt or seen it can be powerful.
……until next week.
herewesayf&@#k!!! 